We share good relations with some and with other we unknowingly spoil the relations may be because of anger, misunderstanding or some other reason. The golden rule to improve your relations is to see and understand other person’s point of view. If we start doing so, 95% of cases which are pending the court for divorce will not have taken place.
It is difficult to understand other’s point of view but at the same time it is easy also. Difficult when you don’t understand, easy if you understand.
When I have to wake up my son for his school, I would never ask him “Get up. You have to go to school.” I tell him, “If you wake up late, you would not be able to become the captain of the tennis team that you want to become.”
Whenever I want to get work done from someone, I just think about other person’s point of view that what he would be wanting and I get my answer after which I do not have make much effort to get the work done.
For instance when I see my son getting bore in studies and I know that he wants to become a businessman, I let him know that what I studied during my school days, Maths, Accounts, Business Studies etc., are being used in my business even today. And as a result he gets influenced because he is keen to get into business.
This helps me in almost every sphere of life. Let’s say someone has to come to my office and the google map is not working. The person calls me up and asks me my location. I do not tell him where I am but I ask him where he is and where is he exactly facing? When I put myself into his shoes, I am able to guide him better.
I will share with you an incident that happened a few years back. While I was having dinner, all of sudden no more chapattis were served to me. I waited for 2-5 mins and then I shouted “please give me a chapatti” but there was no reply. And full of anger I went into the kitchen but there was nobody there and the burner was also off. Seeing that I got ever more angry and I went to the maid’s room and in a loud voice I asked her “Tina, you left cooking in between and came for sleeping here? What non-sense is this?” She got scared and said “You asked us not to give you more than one chapatti, rather I gave you two instead.” I felt ashamed of my behaviour. Had I listened to her before shouting, I would not have been this angry. I went back to the dining table and saw that even my plate was removed now. I again got angry but this time I controlled myself and said to myself that may be my wife did that for some reason. I asked her and she said “you only said that don’t let me do over eating at night. I thought you had 2 chapattis instead of one so may be you left the rest of the food. Also, I could not see you anywhere in the home.”
Atleast give a chance to the other person to speak. Even Kasab was given a chance to speak though there were videos against him, proofs against him. The other person may be wrong, but atleast listen to other person. May be he is also right. And I have seen and I admit it that most of the times it’s me who is at fault.
In business, if you would not think from the employees’ point of view, then you would surely angry and that would affect your business too. Intelligent is the one who thinks from other person’s perspective also. He analyses why the person is behaving like this and he gets the answer.
Whenever I have to make my videos, I always think what my viewers want from me. They want something which will help them running their business smoothly and I get my answer.
It’s been 17-18 years that I have been giving public speaking training and I had to struggle a lot from the year 2000-2007. Why? Because I was giving training from my angle and not from the angle of the students or the audience.
Seeing other person’s point of view works everywhere. Let me give you another example. A friend of mine who runs a business has many telecallers. He found that girls were leaving job very quickly. They didn’t want to stay on this job. He couldn’t understand the reason. When he enquired with a few girls why they didn’t like the job the answer came out the “profile”. They didn’t see any future in tele-calling. An idea clicked him. He changed the name of their profile. He started calling them Business development officers. “BDM” and zoop… problem was solved. Here the girls didn’t want to be called as tellicallers. He understood their need and problem was all over. He saw their point of view.