In the previous post, we discussed about the anger issue and what could be the drawbacks or short comings of anger particularly if you are a businessman.
Now what can we do something for overcoming anger? Yes of course we can. Let’s begin the solutions now.
10. Sit down and have a talk. Ask him why is he late? There could be many reasons but you just have to listen and not react. You may have sent him. B. Some genuine reason C. Some accident D. Some guest arrived at his home. E. Vehicle out of order. F. We gave work and forgot.
9. Listen to his problems first. We should be a good listener. God gave us two ears & one mouth. So speak less, hear more. आपने सौ बातें अच्छी कीं… बहुत बढ़िया… और ग़ुस्सा एक बार, सारी अच्छाइयाँ बेकार !!! No matter how good you have been with others, you lose your temper once, all your good deeds go in vein.
8. Place yourself in his body & soul. Imagine yourself having the same X & Y chromosomes, same genes, same upbringing, same schooling, same neighbourhood, same parents, same society as society moulds a man, same structure as the person who made you angry. What would you have done? Wouldn’t your reaction be the same as that person? Most likely, it would have been. Put yourself in other person’s shoes, you would understand the situation better and be less angry.
7. Interpersonal Skills. Whenever we talk about inter-personal skills, “You” is the most important word and “I” is the least important word. Whereas in public speaking, when you come on the stage, when your legs are shaking, you have butterflies in your stomach, you are short of words. then it’s exactly the opposite: “I” is the most important word and “you” is the least important word. Just think that the people sitting in front of you have taken loan from you and they are here for the extension of that loan and you are not going to give them any extension because you are the most important person.
6. Understand people’s behaviour. After food, clothing, shelter & sexual gratification: Feeling of importance!! Every person needs name, fame and identity which would give him importance. When you criticise a person, his pride is hurt. He does not feel important and so you must never criticise others. Not only this, your criticism may make them your enemies.
5. Say thanks when criticised. Unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. When people criticise you, it’s “out of jealousy” because he thinks you are more knowledgeable, more successful, more famous etc. Say ‘thanks’ to that person. Secondly, they criticise you because you need improvement. Say ‘Thanks’ anyways because these person can really help you improve by their criticism.
4. Stay quiet when criticised. अगर आप सही हैं तो ग़ुस्सा होने की ज़रूरत नहीं (If you are right then there is no need to get angry) और अगर आप ग़लत हैं तो ग़ुस्सा करने का कोई हक़ नहीं (and if you are wrong then you have no right to get angry). Hence, Say thank you or keep quiet.
3. Never Lose temper, Use temper. On whom do you lose your temper? You generally lose temper on younger ones, weaker ones, family members or your employees. But you should never lose temper, rather you should use temper. Keeping temper is important because otherwise your children won’t study, employees won’t work. But you just have to pretend to lose temper. You lose control on your body when lose temper. Your hands & legs tremble, your throat is choked, you have no control on facial expressions, you humiliate the other person in person or publicly.
So showing temper is important. This is how others work efficiently but use limited words and expressions. Just act angry.
2. Pinch yourself . Pinch till you are hurt. This is a punishment you would give to yourself when you get angry.
1. Think like a detective and find the reason for your anger. Analyse your anger. Why you lost temper? Introspect, retrospect about your anger. Why, where, on whom, what reason do you lose temper?
If you the above said things even to some extent to start with, there would surely be a great positive change in you as far as anger is concerned.
To join business training or public speaking course by Mr Anurag Aggarwal in Delhi NCR, contact us at 7834999292 or visit www.anuragaggarwal.com